A note to say, ‘Please stop being so lame’
June 27th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Dear Self:
Don’t take this too personally, but you’re awful.
You’re way too hard on yourself but you’re too stubborn to change the behavior you openly admit drives you crazy.
The size of your ego far outweighs your physical frame, and when anyone tries to cut it down, you take it so personally that you nearly suffocate in self-hatred. You know this gets you nowhere, but you’d much rather rage in hatred about your poor qualities than take any steps to improve.
You don’t know how to relax. Just for one minute. Re. Lax. The world will not stop turning if your mind lies in quiet for even a fraction of a second. If you think otherwise, that’s your ego talking.
You have zero self-discipline and you’re way too content to maintain the status quo, even if it’s hurting you. Make a schedule, stick to it, try harder. Make something happen for yourself. You’ve been wanting to be a writer since you were old enough to pick up a pencil. Honestly, it can actually happen, you just have to write.
Stop hating yourself for your regrets. Stop wishing for a do-over.
And please remember, you are a capable person with actual skills. The fact that you can’t get a single job interview does not undercut that fact, it just means you can’t stop applying to jobs yet, and that you have to keep your chin up. Give in to that miniscule voice you keep suppressing that’s shouting for all it’s worth about how maybe you haven’t gotten a job yet because the one you’ve been pining over is actually coming your way. This might be idealism talking, but isn’t that who you are anyway?
Best,
Leila
